So the tiredness I was complaining I felt?
Combined with me having nightmares constantly about work, and when combined with the fact that once I was off work I just stared into emptiness and cried.
I don't want to lay it out there and put the name on it - instead I'd like to let you know how to at least sort of get out of this.
1. Message your friends, ask them to remind you things that you are good doing.
2. While you wait for that go ahead and think back on some good things that have happened, be it personal accomplishments or professional, either or write them down yourself.
3. Take some time for yourself to really sit with the feelings.
4. Go touch grass, snow, just go outside. Fresh air helps, I know its lame but its how we are built.
It doesn't help at all that the state of the world is what it is and every morning the first thing you hear in the news is about war or ai.
Therefore I'm very much down to getting back to being creative again. Not that I don't already do that in my work but its different when it happens on your own terms. It could be streaming but there's something funky going on with my computer and the streaming software, need to run some tests to figure out what is bugging my pc.
Although I am very much interested to also dabble back into podcasting. Perhaps solo this time. I used to have an English speaking movie-tv podcast that I did with a friend. I scripted it and my partner at the time helped me with the editing. Would be cool if through my work I could get some press privileges again and go see more movies. Would be very fun.