Hi
What you're about to read is something that comes off straight from the heart, with moderate filter because who knows who's gonna end up seeing this.
I am so tired all the time. How can I achieve the state where I have no fucks to give so I can just do what sparks joy, so I don't have to worry about anything else?
Please if you know send me some tips cause I feel like I'm crumbling.
I don't know what I really want to do, last time where I actually felt happy about things was about two weeks ago when I hosted a pub quiz - themed around video games of course. I even told on a call with my mom the other day that for once I didn't feel like I had to be sorry that I took space.
The time before that I felt happy about things was when I actively worked in just creating gaming related content. Its a nice hobby, a fun one even. But if I try to work on it so I could monetize it - the struggle in getting it to be sustainable makes me doubt myself so much on the way I often lose focus and give up already.
I do miss streaming though, and meeting up with creator friends online. man...
Well why not then get a normal job to get some fall back money and then do whatever you want on the side? It's easier said than done. Recently an article was written in a Finnish newspaper that statistically its harder to land a summer job at a grocery store than get into med school. And its not exactly helpful that the government is cutting benefits - affecting low income households. So going on unemployment benefits isn't exactly a solution.
I should feel grateful though (and I am), this month is really good for me. And overall I get to work on things that are close to my interests. Game marketing, communities, and social media. For one client I get to work with my best friend and the dynamic really works. (duh) But I find that in other places even the smallest conflict can really shake up my core beliefs and ruin my mojo -> affecting negatively on my morale. blah.
If you really feel like you are on your lane let me know how you got there - Happy International Women's Day, let stick up for one another.
#venting #iwd2026